Published July 4, 2009
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140,522 Literary Works • 673,294 Reviews
Hi. Again!
So, there's not really much that I can point out that's bad about this piece. I was really looking forward to reading it mand you haven't dissapointed me. It caught my attention and made me curious.
I'm sorry, but there's not really much more i can say but, like the above poster mentioned, please do speel check because the little mistakes drew my attention away from the main story.
Apart from that, really well done and keep writing! Don't forget to PM me when the next part is up!
Afeefah
Hello again, Faia.
For good points...
Wow. Simply amazing. The story is developing very well. Questions were pouring from my brain throughout the reading. I could feel the fear, and the ferociousness of the dogs. I didn't see any of it coming, which is a very good thing.
Your tenses got a lot better. Keep it in mind more often.
And for bad...
Some spell check is in order. Not much, but definitely go over it. But, like you said, it's the first draft. And story is definitely more important than spell checking it all.
Overall, this is a great story and, even though it's only been two chapters, I would recommend this to anyone fond of sci-fi. I can't wait for the third chapter. Keep up the good work!